Persistent sadness, irritability, fatigue, loss of self-confidence: these are the main symptoms of a depressed person – often out of love. But if a loved one is suffering from it, what attitude to adopt? Here are our tips for recognizing the malaise in depressed people and helping them get out of it.
Helping a depressed person, especially when he refuses all help, is not easy. Unfortunately, one of the characteristics of depression is also the loss of all confidence that things will improve, which is what causes depressed people to refuse all help: because they consider it useless.
Depression affects more than 3 million people today (one in five women and one in ten men) and can affect people of very different ages, social backgrounds and lifestyles. Precisely for this reason, depression, which often arises from love problems, is generating increasing interest from the Ministry of Health and doctors. But what can you do if the depressed person is your partner, friend or relative? Here are some tips.
One of the first antidotes against depression is to learn to live peacefully with ourselves, loving and accepting ourselves for who we are, so as to create a solid center of gravity, which allows us to keep ourselves more or less in balance despite the setbacks and uncertainties that arise. May encounter over the years. But how is this small inner casket built, which defends us and makes us more solid and less vulnerable? It is much simpler than you might think. Here are some little tips to start building the most important relationship of our life in a solid way: the one with ourselves.
Stress, the growing individualism of contemporary society and the lack of reference points associated with sentimental difficulties or professional failures can disturb the emotional state. The reasons for depression are many but always translate into the same symptoms: sadness, worry, fatigue, lack of self-confidence, insomnia, asociality, decreased libido, lack of interest in usual activities, thoughts morbid and, in the most extreme cases, suicidal tendencies. It is clear that depending on the gravity of the situation, a certain type of help and intervention is needed. Where the problem presents itself as important and deeper, it is absolutely essential to undertake a psychiatric path of help that allows you to progressively get out of the depressive state and regain inner balance and serenity. Depressed people do not always accept this type of intervention willingly, but with the right tools and advice, it will be easier to direct them and make them aware of this type of help, which is effective and fundamental for a concrete and lasting improvement.
For example, there are many people who are depressed for love, following shipwrecked stories or complex and sick interpersonal relationships. Not infrequently, in fact, a wrong relationship can cause malaise and a sharp decline in self-esteem, symptoms associated with real depression. There is a frequent cause of women close to a depressive state due to a toxic relationship with a narcissistic man, one of the most dangerous and destabilizing. In fact, in people who are depressed out of love, a deeper inner discomfort is hidden, which is also projected in interpersonal relationships, but which has much more distant and intimate origins, probably to be found in the past and in the relationships entertained with the parental figures of childhood.
In order for the person depressed for love to become aware of the problem and begin to consider the hypothesis of solving it, it is necessary that he acquire the necessary tools to analyze the situation in a more rational way and not only on an emotional level. How? If you have a friend or relative in this situation, make sure you are there and listen to them without undue pressure or interference. It is useless to impose ourselves forcefully and propose a way out to a person who refuses help. It is necessary instead to guarantee presence and listening. These are, in fact, the first fundamental steps to allow the person in difficulty to become aware of the need for concrete help to get back their life in hand. A path of psychological or psychiatric analysis will, in fact, guarantee the right help needed to get out of a depressive state and unravel unresolved knots and deeper problems that have accumulated over the years.
Always remember that depression is a disease that is cured. For this reason, it is important to identify the causes of the malaise as soon as possible and stop the crisis in the bud. As we said, depressive states are generally treated with the help of a specialist, a psychiatrist or a psychotherapist who, for a certain period, prescribes antidepressants associated, possibly, with psychotherapy sessions. The people who are close to the depressed person also play an important role in their healing process: they help them to accept their illness and support them on a daily basis. The hardest thing is to understand the depressed person, support and comfort him, avoiding being too abrupt. Even if you have the impression that the depressed person does not want us around, it would be good to resist the temptation to give up because the right attitude is calm and patient.
If you live with a depressed person, or if you hang out with them often, you are probably among the people most able to help them. It is for this reason that it becomes essential to take the right steps to put her at ease and allow her to be herself without fear of being reprimanded or judged. Here are the right attitudes to adopt with a depressed person :
take the suffering of the depressed person seriously: if a loved one trusts in you, do not trivialize their suffering by saying phrases such as: ” it will pass, it’s just a difficult moment .” Feeling misunderstood, they will tend to isolate themselves even more and to self- convince themselves that no one can help them, neither you nor a doctor.
Encourage the depressed person to be followed by a doctor: show him that there is no shame in going to a specialist if you are depressed. Depression is a real disease, it could affect any type of person, and as one goes to the doctor for physical illnesses, the same should be done for psychological disorders. If they have difficulty taking the first step, offer to accompany the depressed person on the first date and also on the second if necessary.
Learn not to judge: it is difficult to reason with a depressed person, as this disorder affects the management of emotions. You must also learn not to make judgments and not to make him feel guilty, even if you cannot understand the reasons for his discomfort. Forget the reproaches such as “recover, you can’t afford to behave like this! “, Or ” there are people in the world more unhappy than you! “. And of course, he avoids mundane advice and morals lessons on what he should do to get back the reins of his life.
Learn to listen: show your availability and patience, show him that you know how to listen. Let the depressed person talk with his heart in his hand, even if he always mulls over the same things and doesn’t seem to listen to you. Your support will initially be of great comfort. But try not to treat him like a child. You risk making him dependent on you.
To stay positive: for the depressed person, the future is black. She tries to change her mind, even if she is not receptive. Talk to her about your life your occupations, let her share your moments of joy and show her the positive side of things by laughing and teaching her the strength of a smile. And above all, encourage her to keep her hope by telling her that things will be better tomorrow.
To help the depressed person to leave the house: it is common for the depressed person to tend to isolate themselves completely and avoid any kind of social life. Encourage her to go out together. Without being too direct, suggest a walk, a cinema, a restaurant. Don’t be too bossy, but be strong. Instead of ” would you rather go for a walk or stay at home? ” Instead, tell her, ” come on, I’ll take you for a walk! “. At first, the depressed person will be recalcitrant, but then he will thank you for sure.
Taking care of a depressed person also means protecting yourself from them. According to many specialists, it is symptomatic: temporarily freed from his malaise, the depressed person tends to appropriate the positive attitude of the person who helps him, instead of risking to destroy him “psychologically.” We must therefore learn to protect ourselves from this “contagion.” That’s kind of what happens with so-called energy vampires. In psychology, the solution is called floating listening and consists in listening to and pitying the other while maintaining the right detachment. The most important thing is not to start doubting yourself and your listening skills, whether it’s your spouse, your child, your best friend. If you feel weakened, you could become a scapegoat for the depressed person. Instead, if you show her that you know your limits and are strong, she too will feel more responsible and try to take care of herself. Helping a depressed person can be both morally and physically exhausting. She, therefore, thinks of taking care of yourself and giving you moments of well-deserved relaxation and fun.
As you know, there are antidepressant foods, which, thanks to their properties, bring benefits to the mood, for example, by increasing the levels of serotonin in the blood. In addition to the classic chocolate, there are fruits and vegetables, which help maintain a physical balance which is also important for treating depression. Check out all the antidepressant foods in the pictures below!